"5 Simple Tips to Get Off Your Couch and Start Living Your Life to the Fullest"

In a recent blog, I shared about my “Hermitage Year” when I went quiet on social media and instead, went inwards to ask great coaching questions of myself. So what were the questions, I hear you ask? Well, for starters -

‘Who am I today, at 51?’   and  ‘What really matters to me now?’

The Answers I Came Up With

Being the best Mum I can be was top of the agenda for me when I asked this question. I realised how quickly my kids are growing up and that the time to invest in them, their joy- our joy as a family - is now.  Now’s the time to do the things that’ve been on my vision board-not waiting till some day out there in the future.

One of the gifts of mid-life is the realisation to

treasure your life -your time on the planet - now.

So we returned to the Bahamas and enjoyed sailing together again, this time as a blended family! We grew a vegetable garden -some veggies thrived, others died but at least we tried! We started doing up our new home so that it’s a calm, welcoming place that makes us feel tranquil and loved every day. We started regularly climbing our local, magic mountain, Bennachie  - because this place touches my soul.

Here’s another question I asked:

Who’s business am I in?

This is about focussing on ourselves - our issues instead of always distracting ourselves with gossip, the news and other people’s lives, situations and behaviours (about which we have little or no control;) That stuff distracts us but we go there because it sometimes feels easier than being in our own lives - of taking responsibility for them - creating our joy.

Byron Katie also says, “To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.” (Here’s a 1 minute video of Byron Katie sharing this idea - please watch it.)

Wow. She a lady.

After 40, I find it’s useful to review friendships old and new and ask if I’m being a good friend. I find some friendships have run their course and some have changed - some go away - not because of a big bust up -but because lives have changed. Some friendships endure, change and even challenge. Some friendships die and come back to life.

We can make friends at any time in our lives AND we can find great friends just around the corner…at our work, in our neighbourhoods, at the gym, online and while pursuing a new hobby.

Here’s the key though -we don’t find new friends while sitting on our sofa being ‘sofa girl’ as one of my dearest coaching clients (I’ll call her Jill-not her real name) calls her alter ego. I asked her…

“So I hear you don’t like being sofa girl…if you weren’t being her, who would you be ?”

“Adventure girl” came the instant, resolute reply. 

“And what would Adventure Girl be doing instead of sitting on the sofa each evening watching Netflix eating bread, cheese and wine (her go-to comfort foods)?” I enquired.

“She’d be out there jogging in spite of her lack of fitness maybe even a walk to start..she’d be trying things out even though she’s scared and nervous…she’d be joining new groups and clubs instead of sitting on the sofa in the evening and falling asleep there… She’d be having adventures and planning to move away to a new location with a new job- maybe even find a new man one day!”

“I see….and what would Adventure Girl be telling herself about life.?  About herself?” I enquired.

“She’d say kind words to herself as she tried new things like ‘Give it a try’ and ‘You can’t lose’ and ‘This is your life - it’s time to start living it.”

Bingo.

So …how about you…?

Is your life inspiring you or boring you to death? If it’s the latter, you’re in the right place! 

And don’t worry - we all get in our own way…. me too …

This ‘life thing’ is not easy and that’s why I’m writing this blog- to let you know it’s all ok and to remind you;

Your life and time are precious.

That’s why I’ve been asking my clients how they want to use time and what’s stopping them or slowing them down from spending their time on the things that matter to them.

What comes up for you if you ask these coaching questions?

Are you feeling the call to go inwards and take your own pulse right now? As you read the blog, does any one question feel instinctively powerful for you?

If it does, follow that inner guidance and ponder that question this week.

Give yourself permission to NOT know the answer right away. Many of my clients tell me that my questions draw a blank at first or even mild irritation! Then BANG. When they’re doing the dishes, it comes to them and helps shift their mindset and behaviour in some powerful way. 

Here’s a photo of me climbing Bennachie. My smile says it all ..what joy and peace can be found on her gentle slopes!

What brings you joy, my friend?

Where can you let go of your worries and touch the inner child that still resides within?

She is still there. Promise.

Until next time where I’ll be sharing more about how I’m dealing with bereavement and how my lovely Dad continues to inspire me every day.

Have a great week my friends.

Big love

Elizabeth x