Building confidence and self esteem after 40.

Have you noticed a drop in your confidence or self esteem after 40?

Once outgoing and ‘happy go lucky’ now avoiding social events? 

Questioning your ability to go for that promotion or new job?

Wondering if it’s too late to find new friends or a new partner, worrying ‘this is me for the rest of my life.’

These could all be signs of low self-esteem, a mood- related symptom many women experience as part of their transition through midlife. 

Low Confidence and Self Esteem 

Is this all in our minds?

Not at all. 

What causes these symptoms?

The answer is ‘changes in hormonal balance’. Hormones are chemicals that we have in our body, which act as messengers between one part of the body and another. There are many types of hormones and each can have multiple effects on us both physically and mentally.

As a woman reaches the end of her store of eggs in her ovaries, this changes the amount and balance of hormones that her body produces which affects the whole body including her emotional and mental wellbeing.

Oestrogen supports serotonin levels, the feel good hormone. When oestrogen starts to drop some time after 40, so do serotonin levels affecting overall mood. Coupled with changes in other hormone levels such as progesterone and testosterone, women can experience an array of symptoms including brain fog, loss of overall energy both physical and mental to name a few. 

Self -esteem – what is it?

It’s about your relationship with yourself. 

That voice in your mind - the internal narrator of your life. If it’s become a nasty, self-critical nightmare, you’re not alone.

It can yammer on about your body image, your life, your worries, your attributes and capabilities. That inner voice can be cruel - picking out all your faults and what’s not perfect while ignoring your many triumphs and strengths. 

Here’s the key - self esteem is not fixed.

It can be worked on so you develop a much kinder relationship with yourself. You can be supported to develop tiny habits that help you build self esteem so that one day, you can hear your inner voice say:

 “I deeply value and like myself.

 I may make mistakes but I trust myself 

and can get through difficult times.”

Building self esteem changes the way you talk to yourself – it strengthens your resilience to face disappointments and helps you cope with stressful times.

At midlife, we look back and sometimes, we remember traumatic events in our past. Particularly as we navigate mid - life challenges like empty nests, ageing relatives, relocation, divorce, bereavement or redundancy, we may find we experience a drop in confidence and feelings of self - efficacy. 

Some women start to experience themselves differently from before – doubting if they can learn new things as quickly as before or adapt to change. 

Incidents and comments that would have been ignored in the past somehow seem more difficult to push through. As a result, they can lose confidence and feel stuck in jobs, situations and relationships that drain them.

Experiencing a drop in our self esteem can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and low mood. 

Unhelpful coping strategies for stress and low mood exacerbate this and make it really important to pause, reflect and honestly share how we’re feeling so we can start to make positive changes.

5 Sentence Starters to help build your Self Esteem.

This week, I’d enjoy….

I get my strength from…

It made me feel great when…

I find it hard to …

I feel at my best when I …..

Get support to build your confidence.

If you’d like support to build your confidence, let’s talk. I have 2 spaces available in my coaching practice and I’ve opened my calendar for those who are ready to change their inner voice, lose the self doubt and feel happier and at peace with who they are.

Click the link and book your free call.

We’ll have a brief chat and if we’re a good match for each other, I’ll lay out a plan for how we could work together over 3 months to transform the relationship you have with yourself and make healthy changes that stick.

If you’re feeling anxious, low or overwhelmed, get in touch. By being honest and sharing what’s been getting to you, you’ll find a helpful, trained partner who can support you to make changes that help turn the page on this difficult chapter. 

It’s time to stop accepting things the way they have been

You deserve a new start and support to move forward.

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