"Are You Listening? How to Interpret the Messages Your Life is Sending You."

Create the Magic at Mid-Life

Be Proactive, not Reactive.

I've heard it said that our life is always speaking to us.

I mean in terms of stuff that's happening - things that hurt us - stuff that irritates us - things that bring us joy - whatever is happening.... is actually life talking to us. Giving us advice. Feedback.

Feeling irritated and bored in your job?

Life is telling you this isn't the right one for you. Time to dust off the old CV and Linkedin profile. I know. Boring as hell but that's the way through this one (as you know :)

Feeling really let down by someone?

Life is showing you where not to place your trust. The message is also - where did you not listen to yourself in that relationship? Were there signs? There often are. Do NOT blame yourself for others being a let down, though. Always be a true friend to yourself -just realise life is nudging you to listen to your own gut more and trust it. And this: There are many other people out there who are worthy of your time, energy and trust. You just need to be open to finding them. While listening to your gut.

Body aching and tired?

You know it is time to rest and I don't mean just sleep- there are actually 7 different kinds of rest we need. And a really good massage!

As we age, it's natural to buy in to all the negatives associated with getting older. However, for women over 40, embracing the aging process and adopting a positive, proactive mindset can be the key to living a really fulfilling life.

In contrast, reacting passively or staying distracted and not paying attention to the signs your life has been giving you mean you miss out on the chance to take stock. I'm talking about the signs your life, mind and your body have been sending you that times have changed and it's time to slow down, ask new questions and change your routines. The great news is there are amazing opportunities that mid- life offers.

The Reactive Approach

Having a reactive mindset can have numerous down sides.

Firstly, reactive aging can prevent us from tending to our needs. As a woman over 45 especially, once peri and menopausal symptoms kick in, it's really necessary to acknowledge that you are changing, even though the signs might be subtle. Acknowledging the change allows us to ask better questions around how we can support ourselves in mid life and beyond.

It's important that we notice for example if we are allowing life to be directed by the needs of others - our jobs/ bosses/ family while not attending to our personal needs and desires. Over time, this may result in a lack of happiness, frustration, regret and even anger.

The Proactive Approach

Conversely, taking a proactive approach to aging empowers women over 40 to take control of our lives and well-being. We listen to the messages our life is sending us and ask for support if we need it.

We come out of isolation with any troubling symptoms - either physical or mental that we're experiencing. By being proactive, we can regain a sense of control that builds confidence. We learn new skills such as how to prioritise self-care, how to stop people pleasing; how to get the real rest we need and how to find and develop fulfilling relationships.

I like to see mid- life and menopause as a portal through which we can get back in touch with our inner child and discover new passions, set new goals, and change direction if needed.

On International Womens Day, I celebrate you, my friend reading this.

We can re-write the narrative of what it means to be a woman over 40 by actively caring for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being, in a proactive way, instead of putting our needs on the back burner and reacting to problems when they become urgent.

How to create a Magical Midlife (by being proactive!)

1. Prioritise self-care: what does this actually mean ? Look out for my next blog on this.

2. Embrace change: Instead of fearing the changes associated with aging, view them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Continuously seek new experiences, learn new skills, and challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone by asking for help and support if doing so creates feelings of embarrassment or worry.

3. Invest in relationships: Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who inspire you to be proactive in your aging journey. Cultivate meaningful connections with like-minded individuals who share your passions and values. Acknowledge if you'd like help to make new friends. Loneliness is much more common than you think and I find at mid- life there are many new friends just dying to meet you but you wont meet them if you stay isolated and quiet about how you're feeling. (future blogs will discuss how to make friends in midlife.)

4. Set new goals: Reflect on your current aspirations and set new goals that align with your personal growth and development. Whether it's starting a new career, changing jobs to one that suits you more, meeting a soulmate, pursuing a lifelong passion, or making a difference through volunteer work, defining new objectives will keep you motivated and upbeat about life.

5. Challenge societal expectations: Break free from society's limitations and challenge the stereotypes and biases associated with aging. It may sound cliched but honestly - you are beautiful! Embrace your unique midlife beauty, wisdom, and experience. One thing I am working on right now is to finally feel appreciation for how much my body has given me instead of scolding the image in the mirror.

Look out for blogs coming soon on topics that this one has raised including loneliness, making friends; self esteem; confidence; stress management; people pleasing ; imposters syndrome and so much more coming soon!