Empowering women at mid-life to get big results.

After 40, we become more aware of time and our unexplored dreams and goals. We feel our heart’s longing for many things… a Soulmate. New friends. New hobbies. New jobs or a change of location…

Our mind worries..

‘What if time’s running out and I never;

 Get a better job/ find a partner/ lose the weight/ ditch the routine/

 move to where I want to live?’ etc, etc

I show my clients how to stop catastrophising and cycling on problems by getting into their CIRCLE of CONTROL (see last week’s blog if you don’t know what I’m referring to.)

Being in ‘worry mode’ - common as it is - doesn’t help us create solutions or find the courage to make the changes that would bring the joy and fulfilment we long for.

So how do I help clients move from stagnation into action?

With great compassion, actually. With deep understanding because…. I’ve been there.

I’ve experienced the grief of divorce and not knowing whether to cry or move house or pay the bills or go to work or take the day off and mope around the house and binge on Netflix..

I get it.

That’s why I help women take the sometimes scary steps they’ve been wanting to despite fear and unspoken doubts.  When we know we’re no longer alone, anything is possible.  Big changes happen you’ve got a compassionate coach beside you to help you plan out your future and actually make the changes you’ve been wanting to. The pathway suddenly becomes visible and the route so much more manageable.

What if now is YOUR time..

What if it’s finally YOUR turn..

Lisa (55) is a busy lawyer who was finding it hard to create work/ life balance. Mid-life weight was creeping on and she felt resentful and sad when she thought of how many evenings and weekends she’d wasted working instead of enjoying her family - taking care of her health - making new friendships and deepening old ones. 

“Is this all there is, Elizabeth?” she asked me during her coaching discovery call.

Climbing the ladder of success in her career wasn’t enough and it had made her feel irritable, overweight and exhausted.

I shared the ‘Circles of Control’ tool with Lisa to help her focus her attention and energy on her own priorities and let go of stuff that was really not her responsibility or concern.  There was an a-ha moment.   It didn’t feel nasty or bitchy or cruel- just a quiet realisation. 

“I see.” she said inspecting the diagram….

”Looking at this….I realise I’ve been acting like I am responsible for my boss’s workload and my department’s budget; my clients’ happiness and everyone else’s as well! No wonder I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders…….”

“Yes.” I said.

“And what would you like to spend time and energy on instead?”

A very brief explanation

If you look at the circle, on the inside is all the things you can control - these are areas where you can move mountains if you focus there. Decide what to let go of. Get clear.

Yet we often find ourselves outside the circle …these are the common ways we respond to stress, boredom and loneliness in our social media -dominated, over- stimulated modern world.  

The stuff in the REACTIVE ZONE actually keeps us stressed and isolated and this impacts our energy and mood and reduces our ability to create the life we really want.

"There are 2 ways to live your life", I explained to Lisa  - “Reactive or Proactive.”

When we’re reacting, our focus is on things that are outside of our control. Somehow, that feels less threatening, but it’s really just a huge distraction.

We ruminate on the past, who’s to blame for this and that and we waste energy on stuff we can’t control.

Exhausting, isn’t it?

In coaching, I keep my clients PRO-ACTIVE and focussed on the inner circle.

We take our power back from the outer circle and we consider our options. We don’t waste time worrying about stuff that’s outside of our control and instead, get crystal clear on what we want to see more of and we get the support we deserve to make it happen…

Questions to Ponder as you look at the image

1.What have you been losing time and energy on that is actually outside your locus of control?

2. What might you have time for if you focussed on your inner circle instead?

Until next time, be good to you.

Because YOU matter.