Let go of people who aren't honest, respectful or who drain you...

It's hard to acknowledge but ..

There are people, places and things in your life that are draining you. 

As you enter your midlife years, it's important to manage your time, sure. But it's even more important to manage your energy. Not everyone in your life inspires you, makes you belly laugh or simply 'gets you'.

In this world, not everyone will be your cup of tea, and you probably aren't theirs either ....and guess what?

THAT'S OK.

When I'm working 121 with someone in my 'Fab over 40' coaching programme, I ask them to experiment. To take an inventory and without changing any of their routines, simply notice their mental, emotional and physical energy levels for just one week.

"Focussing on just you this coming week" I say, "notice this -"

"Who are the people, places and things that leave you feeling seen, understood, upbeat, inspired and positive about life...?"

and

"Who are the people, places and things that leave you feeling drained, ignored, passed over, 'less than', unimportant or disrespected?"

As we enter midlife, it's more important than ever that we steward our time, our finite energy and attention. To do this, we need to be willing to notice and let go of or balance our exposure to the people, places and things that are not good for our wellbeing.

But first, we need to be willing to notice. 

When my clients have noticed who or what's been draining them. They've:

1.Stopped having difficult conversations with people whose behaviour shows they aren't interested in resolving things.

2. Stopped allowing past hurts to determine how they interact with people now.

3. Noticed who is indifferent to their presence and who values them and changed who they prioritise accordingly.

4.Stopped waiting for things or someone else to change and instead taken action to make their life more fulfilling and happy.

They've boosted their self esteem and overall happiness by getting clear about one thing -

Who are the people, places and things that make me feel valued, joyful, loved and loving?

So here's some coaching for you this New Year.

Instead of making diet plans or goals that go astray because they aren't properly set up and supported, how about you simply reflect on that question yourself in this first week of 2024?

Notice who or what's making you feel left out, subtly insulted, or consistently ignored or under -valued. Notice if any routines or habits leave you feeling down or regretful.

Notice who makes you feel genuinely seen, cared about - who or what makes you laugh and who or what makes you feel calm and loved.

Simply notice.

And from THAT place, I invite you to make a new year's resolution.

That you will either change the way you spend your time, where you work, who you see or that you'll get the support you need to set your life up so that it naturally supports your mental and emotional wellbeing. 

When you do this experiment, don't be disheartened at what you discover. Just realise that these energy drains exist and have existed now for some time. At least you're aware of them now.

When you notice how good it is to feel the warmth of true friendship, kindred spirits, and yes, true love, you'll know how precious it is because you'll know what it isn't.